Dear Mom, Your Daughter is Watching


I want to start out by saying that I am not a mother. I have one.  She is an amazing woman if I may say so.  That being said, I have absolutely no knowledge of raising kids.  I do, however; have a husband that has children.  So I have a faint idea of the daily grind that moms and dads go through.  I commend ALL of you.  It’s just not for me.

The reason this post is directed at moms and daughters is because we don’t really talk about that relationship as being a teacher/student relationship.  There are tons of articles about how moms and daughters are best friends, confidants, and the “light of each other’s life.”  More of a “warm and fuzzy” relationship than a learning experience. Still more articles about how moms are raising boys to be “future husbands.”  Dads are targeted as being teachers to his sons of how a woman should be treated, or tasked with showing a girl what to expect in a husband.  Is mom completely off the hook with showing her daughter how to respect a man?  Is that even allowed?  With an increasing number of single-mom families, I feel like this a valid point that should be made.

My opinion is it should be allowed, and that there are some women who need to step up for the sake of our gender.

There is far too much back-stabbing and gossip that goes on in the female gender group.  We are constantly judging each other, critiquing each other’s actions and words.  I have made an effort to stop that and to make sure that I tell other women how awesome they are.  Even though men have a different reputation in their traditional gender roles, I believe whole-heartedly that they deserve respect and that they are awesome as well.

So my message today is strictly to the mom raising little girls, future moms, and future wives.  Just because you are a female by nature, you do not have the right to treat men badly.  Even if you aren’t getting your way.  I fear that we have created some “entitled princesses” and I think it is truly wrong.  Women want to be equal but still want to reserve the right be abusive and teach other young women to do the same.

Ladies: if you are married and your daughter sees you treat your husband poorly, not take care of him, or be considerate of him: YOUR DAUGHTER THINKS THAT’S OKAY.

If you are divorced and you trash-talk your ex-husband (your child’s father) and make him out to be an awful person even though his parenting skills are great: YOUR DAUGHTER THINKS THAT’S OKAY.

If you are single and your daughter sees you trying to keep her away from her father for no valid reason other than you no longer love him, and then she starts to agree with your feelings: SHE THINKS THAT’S OKAY.

If your daughter, sees you yelling, cussing, fighting and throwing things at your significant other: SHE THINKS THIS IS OKAY.

AND, if she sees a man treat you this way and you continue to put up with it: SHE THINKS IT’S OKAY.

See my point?  Do you want your daughters to be successful in life?  Do you want them to have successful, productive relationships that are happy and healthy?

Children that grow up in environments that are stressful, hostile, and where negative talk is allowed are so much more likely to carry on that trend into their adult life.

Even though we may “talk the talk” kids need to see us “walk the walk.”  They pick up on far more than you think they do no matter what their age is.  So the next time you have the urge to speak your mind or react in anger and frustration, remember that your daughter is watching you.  Create a “normal” that can carry her into the future with confidence and love.


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